It's me, the Loathsome Gargoyle. Mostly a lot of reblogs, sometimes a musing or two from this trans* guy in his late twenties.
Stuff you'll find includes: Disney, Once Upon a Time, Phantom of the Opera, Beauty and the Beast, Doctor Who, trans* positive things, and things I find amusing. Big lover of animals, especially dogs and wolves. Wannabe artist/Time Lord/Beast.
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
- finding someone aesthetically pleasing
- being sexually attracted to someone
- being romantically attracted to someone
If you ever date an asexual person be sure to get the specifics of their asexuality because the level of comfort with physical contact is different for all of us.
THIS IS SERIOUSLY IMPORTANT
You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me
I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me
I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.
Shut the fuck up about 50 shades of grey. No one fucking cares
let me just give you a quick run down of all the things wrong with this ask:
1-you assume i care what some asshole anon has to say when i have 300 pounds and i’m going kikass birthday shopping today
2-you assume id care about some asshole anon any other day of the year
3-i care about the 50 shades of grey thing. and whether you do or not is irrelevant to me because you are, after all, just an asshole anon
4- this is my blog and i’ll post whatever the fuck i want, if you cant take three fucking posts about something without turning into a soggy cum stained dishrag then i suggest you make use of that unfollow button because youre gross
5- lemme break this down for you
if you dont care about this 50 shades situation, you need to grow the fuck up and look at the facts
the fact is the book was so misinformed that all the practises about bdsm culture were ignored and shit all over.
he ignores the safeword
he legitimately rapes her
he never explains everything about bdsm culture to her, shes so misinformed its ridiculous
and all of this is going even more public than it already has and its being romanticised and released on valentines day
like “happy valentines honey! i bought some ropes i dont actually know how to tie and a whip i dont actually know how to use and i’m going to just gloss over the fact you’re uncomfortable because that clearly doesnt matter!”
incorrect use of a whip can cause organ failure
incorrect knots used on wristst or feet can literally cause them to need to be amputated
its perpetuating rape culture in ways ive never seen it be advanced to this leve; and if you dont care then youre truly disgusting
you dont care about the kids not fully understanding their sexuality being abused by older people who they think are totally allowed to do this shit?
you dont care about the people that will be raped because of this because hey apparently rape is sexy?
you dont care about the fact that the bdsm culture is, once again, being portrayed as people who are fucked up and must have been abused to be that way rather than normal people who enjoy a kink in their own homes?
you dont care about the fact that youre not supposed to bleed on your first time. ever. and now tons more girls are going to think that its completely normal? that tons more guys will? that tons of people are going to think its expected for the female to bleed when SHE WONT IF SHES BEEN SUFFICIENTLY TURNED ON AND STRETCHED ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD
you dont care about the stereotype of subs not actually enjoying bdsm culture is being widespread? that all subs dislike it and simply have an ulterior motive?
you dont care about the underlying message of the book being “a woman should give everything, including herself, to a man”?
you dont care about all the people in abusive relationships that will think “oh well this must be normal then” and stay there?
christian grey is a run-of-the-mill abusive boyfriend. he isnt a dom.
a dom loves his/her sub completely and the motto of bdsm is "safe, willing and sane" (or something like that anyone feel free to correct me)
it means that both partners have to be completely willing, with boundaries, safewords and everything worked out before they even think about touching eachother intimately.
if something is a boundary, you dont fucking do it
if the safeword is used it stops. everything stops
a dom should treat his sub like a goddamn princess (unless they have prearranged and understand that he wont eg-pet play, slave play where anything outside of the bedroom is also in the same dynamic HOWEVER IT IS STILL CONSENSUAL SO IT IS STILL OKAY)
a dom is not christian grey
but millions of people are going to think he is and are going to think that thats the way bdsm should be and they’ll get involved in something very dangerous if they dont have the real facts.
that people will think its romantic because this shit is scheduled for valentines day to treat your partner like shit, abuse her, and that what? getting them off absorbs you of all your shit? no. this is so fucking gross and im not taking a backseat when this shit happens
so in conclusion
literally fuck you, you insensitive fuck stain, this issue is so fucking important.
When I was interning with the USAO I was helping with a case involving teenage girls forced into sexual slavery and prostitution. The girls didn’t see themselves as victims, because they were convinced that they were part of BDSM relationships. They had signed contracts with the pimps (guys who had LONG rap sheets for pimping and gang violence) who they thought were there boyfriends, and that they were just following the things there masters told them to do.
The investigating officers didn’t look to see if 50 Shades was involved (probably because the FBI agents were guys and hadn’t read the book) but the contract stuff made me suspect that at least some of the girls read 50 Shades and thought that this was what BDSM was.
I’m all for people getting into kink, but the problem with 50 Shades is that it doesn’t recognize how problematic it is. People think it is what D/s relationships are, or that these types of relationships (where one party is abusive and controlling) can turn into a happy ending with marriage and kids if you just stick it out.
Ask me anything
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